Video transcript
My next guest is truly what? What did I say? And you corrected me in front of millions of people, didn't you? The Cordova, don't... Christmas bonus. This is my 10th or 11th cigar. I smoke between 15 and 20 cigars a day. Yeah. And it's very exciting. Yeah. At 93, if I can get it into a hold-up. As your doctor said to you and I, George, you got it. My doctor is dead. I got no respect today. I was born. Really? No respect. The doctor picked me up and smacked me. I found out the nurse, you got a few in too. After the second time I was with him, I called my mom and dad and said, "This is it. I'm going to be with this man for as long as I live." No. Can I ask you something without getting too intimate? How do you know after, uh, I mean, we'd gone out a couple of times, right? Stop the taping. Somebody broke my cigarette box. I just started the show, I picked my box up off my desk that I've had for nine years. My box is broken. they told me they told me you broke it on the show last night well I said you know she was on Johnny Carson show one time she came there with a cat on her lap and she said to you do you want a pet bonnie yes my son said that you said I'd love to if you'd remove that damn cat little item in the paper today you see these all the time you don't know whether it's true or not there was an accusation that I won't mention any name some fast food restaurants may be using rabbit meat in their burgers there may be some truth in that I stopped at one of those places today and and my patty ate the letters any phobias at all phobias anything that really phobias I'll tell you what left in my mind I mean I'm not prepared for this that's okay an unnatural fear of something a lot of people afraid of the dark it has acrophobia right a few fights yes we haven't prepared this well I'll tell you what left to my mind you know we are so I do not like balls coming toward me I got up this morning at my push-ups in the nude I didn't see the mousetrap I'm getting old when my last birthday cake look like a prairie fire you know how it is my age I want two girls at once you know if I fall asleep to got each other to talk to mrs. Paul's lights light sea flute no I gotta get this right cuz this is their very first appearance we'd like to welcome a new sponsor to the tonight show mrs. Paul's light suit mrs. Paul's light sea flute entrees entrees I like the multiple choice stuff because you had a shot at it you know where did you go to school you can take a guess did you have multiple choice sure we had I told you dr. Ninler you cheated me we didn't get the multiple choice God bless you yes the essays were the worst of the essays I've never all well now you're talking about college with a new book I was in college just about an hour you know tonight in Vegas I got loaded Johnny I shot dice I lost a thousand bucks I got even though I stole 400 sweet and loads you know I'm a bad drink a bad drink of Johnny I mean when I drink I don't know what I'm doing yeah I had a next day and I end up usually wake up in some strange place with a kid with an accent playing with my feet it's nice to meet you it's me too I've been waiting all my life to meet you and yeah you're pretty smile you're pretty teeth thank you yeah pretty much you know tell me if you notice this it would be kind of easier to talk without my teeth what are you talking about
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