Video transcript
Goats, milk, latte, drinkin', avocado toast, eating. Life is hard, but it's harder when you're stupid. Can I take cocaine with my spouse? No, sir. No, sir. I did not call Senator Sanders an ignorant slut. I'm not talking about buying it, but let's suppose I came in one day and the cocaine was there. People who are bibantlingual, they speak English and stupid. I don't know why we have to give money to countries that hate us. They should be able to hate us for free. Looks like we're giving Lindsay Lohan the keys to the minibar. President Biden is sort of like Kevin Bacon at the end of Animal House. The cantina bar scene out of Star Wars. They wanted it like Ben wants J-Lo. I'm like Bluto in Animal House. I'm just fat drunk and stupid. Frankly, I can't because I can't get my head that far up my rear end. Stick it up there, fact checker. They can kiss my ass. Somebody at the White House has been smoking the devil's lettuce, okay? We cannot run the greatest economy by putting fairy dust and unicorn urine in our cars. You're made to get off the pot. My car doesn't run off fairy dust. My car doesn't run off unicorn urine. The spending porn on pet projects. It's just chock full of spending porn. There's an enormous amount of spending porn. Next time you get in trouble, call a crackhead. Call a criminal. Call a meth head. It must suck to be that dumb. I don't mean disrespect, but the mayor needs to take her meds. Christmas ornaments, drywall, and Jerry Epstein. Name three things that don't hang themselves.
Transcribed automatically. Expect errors in names and numbers.