20 posts from Wednesday, June 17, 2026

all right I I agree good evening everyone we have a great show for you tonight a special one joining us for the whole hour the vice president of the United States yes but first a segment on the benefits of balance of nature I'm kidding to the monologue alright an Iran agreement is set to take effect on Friday this after 10 weeks of bombing talking and more bombing sounds like someone describing a Jimmy Kimmel monologue but the war wasn't really 10 weeks long for most of us it was five decades and it certainly was 50 years of aggravation for Trump he's been talking about Iran since Pelosi's first eyebrow lift he was calling out the thread back when Bill Cosby was America's dad and Caitlyn Jenner could still pee standing up see Trump is the first context president we've seen in ages meaning the decisions he makes now come after watching others screw up forever while other leaders let the regime become a bigger pain in the ass than a cactus suppository Trump laid out how he felt about Iran early in the 80s and when Trump shows up he looks around sees how bad it is and appoints himself the guy to fix it if he was any better at fixing things he would be counting votes for the LA mayor race but for example for years the border has been more open than Rosie O'Donnell's mouth when it sees a sardine Trump says let's close it North Korea more of a headache than a Kamala hangover he says let's treat it the reflecting pool is grosser than James Carville at a nude beach let's clean it up and enough with the weak shower heads I need an executive order call it maintaining acceptable water pressure and shower heads which he did in April 2025 repealing Biden era definitions rescinding restrictive rules in favor of simpler standards thanks to him my scalp is more dimples than a golf ball then there's incandescent bulbs dishwashers even low-flow toilets Trump sees a problem and suddenly he's James Taylor singing I'm your handyman so then there's Iran he says I'm sick and tired of a half century dealing with their terror and threats if I want to live in fear I'll ask Katie Porter to send me nudes I know I know he's going so well the mullahs can end up with peace or end up in pieces this isn't an Obama who sent pallets of cash like it was a closeout deal at Costco and he's not a peanut farmer like Jimmy Carter who when it came to foreign affairs was a peanut farmer in his first term Trump gave them a preview not with endless talk but with a drone strike the mullahs should have known something different was in the air mostly the fine mist that used to be general Soleimani so you see so you see it's a pattern and for some the pattern could conflict with other things you expected from Trump some trumpers weren't thrilled that he attacked Iran after all he said no wars but consider the guy you chose whose instinct is to solve lingering problems he can't help it whether it's crime in DC drugs killing America's kids or the smells Biden left in the Oval Office bathroom it would drive Trump crazy if he didn't attack the problem it's like dangling a pork chop in front of Chris Christie or a toy poodle in front of a hungry Barack Obama he ate a dog so Trump has competing urges one is don't start wars he can't finish quickly the other is Iran's a threat let's ask why and solve it so you can see how you voted for one but still understand the other and hell it is why you elected him three times let's welcome tonight's guest he's got the will of a hero and comes in a size zero neo times best all the other boxes can't dream of captain she goes by one name like Madonna share in scurvy votes of the Kennedy saints world podcast Kennedy it took seven Secret Service agents two hours to pat him down for brand-new world champion and also the planet ours podcast I read and he went on the view today it has the bite marks to prove it the vice president united America JD bands I got it I gotta say it was pretty pretty brave of you to go on to the view what were you expecting and how did it go honestly Greg I expected them to be absolutely vicious and they were only a little bit vicious it wasn't it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be Joy Behar even said during the break not joking she said you know what you're like pretty good for a Republican and I was like whoa that is a way better compliment I expected from Joy Behar I gotta say I thought that sunny the woman to my left was gonna call call me a racist in reality it was whoopee the woman to my right who called me racist so expectations were defied well you know why sunny can't call you a racist because as you know her ancestors were slave owners look it up why would I make that up it was on that thing where she sees her family history Kennedy six cents no never mind the one time he should ask the black guy okay yeah yeah it was the ancestry show yes yes yes and apparently her family also believed in free labor yes so I'm so we're looking at this New Deal VP and I'm wondering did we sign the deal because the new Ayatollah is gay and we wanted to focus on Pride Month thanks for coming on I'm glad I decided to move my political career but wait well all right let me ask you another question that was just a stupid question I you know I don't have to actually answer my questions I'll either be killed or unelectable because if I answer that look here here's a simple fact yeah reason why we signed this deal is because Donald Trump did exactly what he came to do he destroyed their nuclear program he opened the Strait of Hormuz and now he we have we have nice Trump you can have mean Trump or you can have nice Trump and what he's saying to the Iranians is because we came what we determined to do we are gonna outstretch our hand and say that if you guys behave we are gonna actually make you a successful country and if you don't behave you're not gonna get anything and you're never gonna have this opportunity ever again it's a classic Trump bargain he gives these guys a choice and says make the right choice or make the wrong choice frankly it doesn't matter to the United States of America we accomplish what we set out to accomplish and now we have as the president says all the cards yeah he could be good cop and bad cop like I am in the bedroom why would you look at me and say because I'm at I was about to ask you a question okay so what do you make are you hopeful are you hopeful about this new deal cat yeah I haven't seen I haven't seen it have you guys no but it's I haven't seen right I haven't you have seen Iran get death I haven't seen it yet I know what I hope for and what I hope for is for America to win I hope that we can get out and that we can stay out I want American troops to be safe I want Americans to keep their money that's what I've always been for that's what I'm always gonna continue to root for is the United States of America yeah and why not it brought her Love Island well Love Island still didn't Fiji it's almost as if you never listened to me I know I'm also glad you brought it up not me I'm really glad that you brought up the low-flow toilets also because I feel like there's really not you actually it was a small thing though and there's really not you know enough acknowledgement of the damage yeah that a low-flow toilet can do emotionally to marriage a person to a person it's one of the top three worst phone calls you can make we'll just Kennedy you know I loved the language memorandum of understanding it's like the title of a foreign film at con you know where the tagline is some agreements are never meant to be understood oh yes and they get a 15 minute memorandum of understanding you you optimistic I am optimistic because I do think that this president's sides on sides with capitalism and economic growth and I think if there's one legacy he wants its stability in the Middle East and to be able to turn the entire place into a massive Trump World Resort which I also celebrate because I'm hoping by being on the same show with Vice President Vance that I get a discount code when it opens yes which would absolutely be amazing yeah and you know to catch what the discount code it's Trump 2028 that's nice Tyrus Greg how are you phenomenal happy pride month thank you you celebrate that virus and I'll celebrate any month there's months there should be no months yeah I hate black history month I hate pride month because we all here 365 no one group just kicked ass in one month yeah so you know we did it all together yeah there isn't a short month there isn't a short month except for February which is our month and that's a whole other argument yes what do you say to this agreement tires Trump's way of handling this I think once again there's gonna be another reason why he doesn't get a Nobel Peace Prize I mean well how many is he racked up like yeah he's got more peace prizes and the Patriots of Super Bowl rings like he just they're gonna try to pick it apart they're gonna try to change he has done something that was never really supposed to be ever accomplished because you never had help from the other side he has the Middle East involved they are active participants it's not just Israel we have they're now investing in our country I think it wasn't it you guys just had like a hundred million dollar investment from Kuwait or Qatar or simply like every like 700 billion yes sorry sorry it's not math month give the man is do what I'm saying is we're seeing all this investment all the stuff is coming from this so he's cleaning up the country literally and he's not gonna get his roses from the media everyone's gonna try to find something wrong with it I ran here's the best part in accepting the deal the the fearless leader gets to come out from wherever he's been hiding he no longer has to do messages from a guy on a camel rides to a guy in a goat who then goes to a guy on a armadillo within crud like without because he can't stick his head out of his house because he'll get blown out fabulously cuz it's pride month yeah so now they get to come out and see a little bit of fresh air but the thing is once you're out all eyes will be on you and Iran will need to make all the right moves because if not it'll be next gay I told up yeah I think it's gonna be a great I think it's a great thing in this and to be in America right now and other places he's giving places that haven't had hope and generations there will might be the the next generations of Iranian children that will be born might have an opportunity to be free all right and I think that's an amazing thing all right

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